Silent No More

Where do I send my Family and Friends for answers?

exual Assault not only affects the victim, but also the significant people in their lives.  Family and Friends often have questions.  The Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Center can help answer some of those difficult questions.

Helping family and friends to understand

If you have been the victim of sexual assault, here are some suggestions to help your loved ones to help you better.

• Tell them what you want or don’t want.  The best chance to get your needs met it to tell people what you want or need.  For example, they may not know when you need time alone or when you want company.  It’s important to tell them or they might not know how you feel.  Your friends and family want to be helpful.  Tell them how to help.

• Help them to understand about sexual assault.  Give them information about sexual assault, such as this handout.  The more they know, the better they will understand how to support you.

• Set your own limits and boundaries.  Your friends and family will have different ideas about what you need or what is best for you.  It’s important to be honest with them about your limits and needs.  It’s okay to say no if someone wants you to do something that you are not ready or do not want to do.  Take care of yourself and say no to your family and friends when you need to do so.  Go at your own pace.

• Ask for help or support.  If you need to talk to someone, reach out to them.  Call, write, e-mail, or go to them.  Don’t wait for someone to come to you.  They might not know when or how you need them unless you tell them.

• Be patient with yourself and with them.  Recovering from sexual assault and moving on with your life will take time.  There may be days when you are ready to fully go back to your life and some days, you may have set backs.  This is a normal part of healing.  Understand that your family and friends are also trying to cope with what happened and they will have some ups and downs too.

• Remember that they care about you.  The people in your life who care about you feel hurt when you hurt.  They want you to be well and to be happy again.  Remember that you have people in your life who care about you.  You are not alone and you don’t have to deal with this by yourself.  If needed, seek out a counselor who specializes in working with victims of abuse or sexual assault.  It’s your choice.