“All you need is love.”

 - John Lennon (1940-1980)

Facts about Tweens and Teen and Dating Violence

Prevalence of Violence in Tweens

• Approximately one in three adolescent girls in the Unites States is a victim of physical, emotional, or verbal abuse from a dating partner.
• In a national online survey, one in five tweens – age 11 to 14 – say their friends are victims of dating violence and nearly half who are in relationships know friends who are verbally abused.
• A survey found that one in four 7^th grade girls (24.9 percent) and more than one in five boys (21.2 percent) reported perpetrating physical violence in a dating relationship in the past year.
• Boys are more likely to inflict injuries as a result of perpetrating dating violence than girls. This trend – where girls slap and push and boys hit and punch – continues into adulthood.

Prevalence of Violence in Teens

• Nationwide, nearly one in ten high-school students (9.8 percent) has been hit, slapped, or physically hurt on purpose by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• Teens in same-sex relationships experience rates of violence and abuse similar to rates experienced by teens in heterosexual relationships. Data from the National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent Health finds that nearly one in four teens and young adults (ages 12-21 years) in same-sex romantic or sexual relationships reported some type of partner violence victimization in the past year-and-a-half. One in ten reported experiencing physical violence by a dating partner. Females were more likely to report victimization than males.
• Nearly one in ten 15-year-old girls disclosed experiencing physical dating violence and one in four disclosed experiencing psychological abuse.
• Nearly one in three sexually active adolescent girls in 9^th to 12^th grade (31.5 percent) report ever experiencing physical or sexual violence from dating partners.
• One in four teen girls in a relationship (26 percent) says she has been threatened with violence or experienced verbal abuse, and 13 percent say they were physically hurt or hit.
• One in three teens reports knowing a friend or peer who has been hit, punched, kicked, slapped, or physically hurt by a partner.

Teen Dating Violence Facts vs. Myths

Myth

Teen dating violence rarely happens.

Fact

Teen dating violence is as common as domestic violence in adult relationships. A 2001 study of high school students conducted by Harvard University found that one in five teenage girls had been physically or sexually abused by a dating partner.

Myth

Teen girls are as abusive as boys.

Fact

Research shows that teen girls are not as likely to be as abusive as teen boys. Teen boys are far more likely to initiate violence and teen girls are more likely to be violent in a case of self-defense.

Myth

Some victims of teen dating violence or sexual assault provoke the violence committed by their dates by making them jealous, acting mean, or teasing them into thinking they want to have sex.

Fact

Dating violence is NEVER a victim’s fault. There is no such thing as victim precipitated violence.

Myth

Teen dating violence is just arguing. It’s not dangerous like domestic violence in adult relationships.

Fact

Teen dating violence can be very dangerous – sometimes lethal. Results of teen dating violence and sexual assault include serious physical harm, emotional damage, sexually transmitted disease, unwanted pregnancy, and death.

Myth

Teen dating violence only occurs between boys and girls.

Fact

Teen dating violence and sexual assault is estimated to occur between lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth at about the same rate as in straight teen relationships. (NCAVP, 2001; Dahir, 1999) However, LGBTQ youth are even less likely than heterosexual youth to tell anyone or seek help, and there are fewer resources for these teens.

Myth

Teens experiencing dating violence usually tell a trusted adult.

Fact

Teens experiencing dating violence usually tell no one. When they do tell, they usually tell another teen. One study found that only 6% of girls and 11% of boys told anyone about the abuse that they experienced (O’Keefe and Treister, 1998).

Myth

Alcohol and drugs can cause teen dating violence and sexual assault.

Fact

Alcohol and drugs can and do exacerbate violence, but they are NEVER the cause of violence (Bennett, 1997; Schechter and Ganley, 1995).

Myth

Sexual assault rarely happens to teens, and when it does, it is perpetrated by a stranger.

Fact

Middle school, high school, and college age women experience a higher rate of rape than any other group. Rape is most likely to be perpetrated by someone the victim knows, such as a friend, an acquaintance, a date, a family member, or a partner (Silverman, Raj, Mucci, and Hathaway, 2001; Warshaw, 1988; Haplem, Oslak, Young, Martin, and Kupper, 2001).

Myth

Some teens like to be abused that’s why they stay in the relationships.

Fact

No one likes to be controlled or abused! There are many reasons youth stay in abusive relationships. These include:

1. Having a boyfriend or girlfriend is very important to a youth’s social status;
2. Wanting to be loved and needed;
3. Believing the abuser’s apologies and promises to never do it again; and
4. Peer pressure.

Television, music, movies and other forms of media normalize violence (Aldridge, Friedman, and Occhiuzzo Giggans, 1995).

Dating Abuse Statistics

Too Common

• Nearly 1.5 million high school students nationwide experience physical abuse from a dating partner in a single year.
• One in three adolescents in the U.S. is a victim of physical, sexual, emotional or verbal abuse from a dating partner, a figure that far exceeds rates of other types of youth violence.
• One in 10 high school students has been purposefully hit, slapped or physically hurt by a boyfriend or girlfriend.
• One quarter of high school girls have been victims of physical or sexual abuse.

Why Focus on Young People?

• Girls and young women between the ages of 16 and 24 experience the highest rate of intimate partner violence — almost triple the national average.
• Violent behavior typically begins between the ages of 12 and 18.
• The severity of intimate partner violence is often greater in cases where the pattern of abuse was established in adolescence.
• About 72% of eighth and ninth graders are “dating”.

Long-lasting Effects

• Violent relationships in adolescence can have serious ramifications by putting the victims at higher risk for substance abuse, eating disorders, risky sexual behavior and further domestic violence.
• Being physically or sexually abused makes teen girls six times more likely to become pregnant and twice as likely to get a STI.
• Half of youth who have been victims of both dating violence and rape attempt suicide, compared to 12.5% of non-abused girls and 5.4% of non-abused boys.

Dating Violence and the Law

• Eight states currently do not include dating relationships in their definition of domestic violence. As a result, young victims of dating abuse often cannot apply for restraining orders.
• New Hampshire is the only state where the law specifically allows a minor of any age to apply for a protection order; more than half of states do not specify the minimum age of a petitioner.
• Currently only one juvenile domestic violence court in the country focuses exclusively on teen dating violence.

Lack of Awareness

• Only 33% of teens who were in a violent relationship ever told anyone about the abuse.
• Eighty one percent of parents believe teen dating violence is not an issue or admit they don’t know if it’s an issue.
• A teen’s confusion about the law and their desire for confidentiality are two of the most significant barriers stopping young victims of abuse from seeking help.

Teen Dating Violence Resources

Futures Without Violence

LoveIsRespect.org

Love Is Not Abuse

National Domestic Violence Hotline

National Network to End Domestic Violence

Nicole Brown Foundation

Information from this page comes from:

The Facts on Tweens and Teens and Dating Violence

Between Friends – Building A Community Without Domestic Violence

Lets do it again! Every dollar makes a difference.

February 22, 23 & 24 at Ruby Tuesday’s in Augusta you’ll have your chance!  Bring in the flyer (you can download below) to your lunch and dinner on either of these 3 days, and Ruby Tuesday’s will donate 20% of your purchase!  For every $20 you spend we will receive $4!

Download your flyer here:

RT7291_giveback_Dining to Make a Difference_2012 2-22.23.24

February 13th, Maine General Waterville Seton unit, 5th floor, 12 noon. (Click to enlarge)

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Stalking Awareness Month 2012

In January 2004, the National Center for Victims of Crime launched National Stalking Awareness Month (NSAM) to increase the public’s understanding of the crime of stalking. NSAM emerged from the work of the Stalking Resource Center, a National Center program funded by the Office on Violence Against Women, U.S. Department of Justice, to raise awareness about stalking and help develop and implement multidisciplinary responses to the crime.

Stalking is a crime that occurs more than people may think.

In the United States,

• 3.4 million people over the age of 18 are stalked each year, and out of those 3.4 million, 3 in 4 are stalked by someone they know.
• 30% of stalking victims are stalked by a current or former intimate partner. 10 % are stalked by a stranger.
• 81% of women stalked by a current or former intimate partner are also physically assaulted by that partner. 31% are also sexually assaulted by that partner.
• Persons aged 18-24 years experience the highest rate of stalking.
• 87% of stalkers are men.
• 46% of stalking victims experience at least one unwanted contact per week.
• 1 in 4 victims report being stalked through the use of some form of technology (such as e-mail, text messages, or instant messaging).
• 10% of victims report being monitored with global positioning systems (GPS), and 8% report being monitored through video or digital cameras, or listening devices.

What to Do if You Are Being Stalked?

• If you are in immediate danger, please call 911.
• Trust your instincts. If you feel unsafe, call for help.
• Always take threats seriously.
• Do NOT return calls or respond to attempts from the stalker to contact you.
• Talk with your local law enforcement. It is important to notify them of what is happening. The stalker may have broken other laws by stealing or vandalizing your property.
• Document the conduct. Keep an incident log. Document each time the stalker contacts you and your response. Give police a copy of your incident log with dates and times. This report might become public so use a postal box address to protect privacy.
• Keep evidence when stalking occurs. This can include things as simple as keeping emails, phone messages, and letters that the stalker has sent to you.
• Tell people about the stalking and seek out support. Be sure to notify any security at your workplace or school. Do not be afraid to ask them to watch for this person or walk you to your car.
• Call for help. Advocates can help design a personalized safety plan, give information on laws and provide options and advice on places to go to seek help.

In the News:

“Stalking can cause medical and psychological issues for its victims”

Pulaski County Daily News

Help for Victims:

Stalking Resource Center – Stalking Safety Planning

Stalking Resource Center – Incident and Behavior Log

Stalking – A Handbook for Victims

Stalking Resource Center – Address Confidentiality Programs

Outreach Materials:

Are You Being Stalked?

Stalking Resource Center – Stalking Fact Sheet

Stalking Legislation:

Maine Criminal Stalking Laws

More Information on Stalking:

Bureau of Justice Statistics Special Report – Stalking Victimization in the United States

The Model Stalking Code – Responding to the New Realities of Stalking

Model Campus Stalking Policy

Resources:

Help is available to any victim through the local domestic violence projects and sexual assault support centers. You do not have to be a victim of domestic violence or sexual assault to seek help.

Maine Coalition to End Domestic Violence

Helpline: 1-866-834-HELP

Maine Coalition Against Sexual Assault

Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Line: 1-800-871-7741

Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Center

Sexual Assault Crisis & Support Line: 1-800-871-7741

(Information gathered by Nathan Mitchell, Community Outreach Intern)

This coming May 5, 2012 marks our annual major fundraising event—the 13th Annual Celebrity Dinner.  Our theme this year is “Cinco de Mayo!”

As many of you are aware the money raised during this event and throughout the year funds programs such as direct client, education and outreach programs developed to support victims of sexual violence; bring necessary awareness to the prevalence of sexual violence within our communities and provides guidance on how all of us can make a difference in prevention and response to sexual violence.  In this past year alone our agency has been able to provide services to thousands of victims with the support and generosity of people like you!

In this season of giving we kindly ask that you consider making a tax deductible donation to support the live and silent auction during the Celebrity Dinner.  Below are some ideas to consider and as always cash donation are always encouraged and welcome!

Ø  Unwanted Holiday Presents

Ø  Tickets to a local sporting event

Ø  Tickets to the theatre

Ø  Spa Packages

Ø  Jewelry

Ø  Getaways

Ø  Free instruction classes

Ø  Art

With your support, our goal is to ensure children; women and men are Silent No More against sexual violence!

To find out more about the sponsorship packages for the Celebrity Dinner 2012 Click here

The employees and the volunteers of the Sexual Support Crisis & Support Center wish you and your families a safe and happy holiday season!

“Sandusky case triggers pain well beyond campus”

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/45314171/ns/us_news-life/#.Tt-7vLIk6dA

“Psychologists say that any sex abuse victim — man or woman — may find that news of the Penn State case sparks painful memories. But the way this case is unfolding strikes an especially deep chord with men.”

During my sixteen years of law enforcement, I’ve encountered plenty of tough cases – but witnessing the devastation of sexual assault and the trauma of child abuse have been the most challenging for me.  Certainly, I never appreciated how sheltered and protected I was growing up until I came face-to-face with the reckless disregard some individuals hold for the health, safety and security of others.  As I was exposed to the negative side of human nature, though, I was lucky to simultaneously meet, interact, and learn from a group of folks who soldier along with the goals of stopping predatory behavior, holding law-breakers accountable for their behavior,  healing physical and emotional wounds, and working to educate men and women – young and old – in an effort to eradicate sexual abuse and child abuse.

For me, there was never any thought of playing my role as a police officer in an “us versus them” light – I knew from day one that the professionals in the medical, prosecutorial, welfare, counseling, educational and support fields all had roles to play that were equally important to mine – and that the skills those men and women brought to bear eclipsed mine, in many cases.  For all these reasons, I have tried to reach out and work collaboratively with as many individuals and organizations as possible in an effort to make a positive impact.

One relationship that I’ve found particularly valuable is the one shared between the Waterville Police Department and the committed staff and volunteers of the Sexual Assault Crisis and Support Center.  When SAC-SC moved into our area, we were immediately impressed with the quality and demeanor of the advocates who worked with our officers on sexual assault cases.  Members of our staffs have forged a partnership to bring R.A.D. (Rape Aggression Defense) training to the women of central Maine.  And recently, we’ve joined a comprehensive group of stakeholders to develop and establish a Child Advocacy Center.  For us at the Waterville Police Department, there was no sales pitch needed.  When we learned that SAC-SC wanted to take action to provide a space where children who are alleged to have been sexually abused can receive their medical exams and care, be forensically interviewed by trained CAC interviewers, and be connected to the resources to assure their safety and health as well as to begin or continue the healing process, we couldn’t wait to roll up our sleeves and get to work.

The core of the community policing philosophy is that in order to be effective, law enforcement must engage the assistance of those community members who care enough to make a difference.  In our eyes, this collaboration is the essence of community policing.  We are proud to be associated with an organization committed to the noble cause of fighting sexual abuse, and I think we will all be very satisfied with the fruits of our labor.

Charles J. Rumsey, IV

“Ruby Tuesday is extremely proud to be art of your hometown and believe n giving back.  As a fellow member of the community, we invite you to participate in…

RUBY TUESDAY”S COMMUNITY GIVEBACK PROGRAM!

Grab your family and friends and join us at the 58 Stephen King Dr. Location on November 22, 23  & 25.  Please present this flyer to your server, and we will give back 20% of the purchase to this organization!”

We hope to see you there!

DOWNLOAD The Flyer here!

This is an article published in the Kennebec Journal in January of 1986.  By November of 1986, the Augusta Area Rape Crisis Center opened its doors!

                It’s not against the law in Maine for a 17 year old to be in a consensual sexual relationship with a 38 year old.  It may be against better judgment or against your personal morals or beliefs but it’s not illegal, unless the 38 year old is in a position of power, for example; a teacher, a coach, a doctor or a pastor.

In light of the recent events in our community involving a high school teacher and a student it is necessary to remind community members where the blame should be placed.  It is also important to address some of the judgments and assumptions that community members make without all of the information which, I will add, no one except the teacher and the student have.  For example, when the defendant was first arrested in this case I was shocked and disappointed by some of the comments after the news paper article.  One contributor wrote this:

“I don’t know this guy or anything about the case. With that said, coaches are usually in a pretty bad position sometimes having to choose one player over another because of the skill of individual players. That can lead to some pretty bad feeling among some players on a team who feel they were unjustly passed over for a position on a term. I hope the “investigation” will have more to go on other than a few kids who may be accusing out of retaliation, or support for a friend,  for not being chosen for a position on the team. I certainly don’t know what went on, I just remember years ago when playing sports in school and at times not being chosen for the position I trained hard for and I felt I was the right person to play and not being seen that way by coach. In those situations the coach can go from being your best friend to your worst enemy. Not being chosen can be a big ego let down.”

The first sentence is probably where this should end.  But, they continue and start making assumptions that the victim lied about the allegations in retaliation for not getting to play the position that she wanted.  This only reinforces and perpetuates the MYTH that victims lie about sexual violence in order to retaliate or get what they want.

Then another wrote this:

“He is a man, and a professional, he should have known better period!!  But these days the “little” girls toss themselves at you, it’s sickening I pick up my son at the high school and I cannot believe the way these young ladies are dressed or not dressed for this matter.  Let’s start sending them home to dress, how about a dress code.  Needless to say this should have never happened.”

Again, the first sentence is good and the last one isn’t bad but, the middle is where the problem is.  He goes on to say that in order to fix this problem what we need to do is send the girls home to dress more appropriately.  This reinforces and perpetuates two myths; one, that women and/or girls ask to be sexually violated by the clothing that they wear and two, that men just can’t help themselves.  Even if this student was wearing a tube top and a mini skirt and she had approached him, it is HIS responsibility as an ADULT and an EDUCATOR to explain why it is inappropriate and illegal for him to engage in a relationship with a student.

It is the ADULT’s responsibility in these cases to refuse to engage in a sexual relationship with the student.  As an adult and a teacher, the 38 year old knows that when he engages in an inappropriate relationship with a student that he will not only lose his job if someone discovers it, but that he might also end up in jail.  He also has a better idea of what will happen to the student, her family, his family, his colleagues, the school environment and the larger community. So, when he chose to cross his professional boundaries and engage in a relationship with this 17 year old, it was a CHOICE.  It was his responsibility so, we should STOP BLAMING HER.

Megan Hatch, SART Advocate